Have You Ever Really Danced On The Edge?
by Rudeandginger413
Summary: Kellic fluff. M for Language, vague Sexual Content, and possibly triggering scenes that will be marked.
1. Mirrors and Bruises

_Author's note- Hey guys! Although I have written CreepyPasta stories on WattPad, this is my first actual fanfic. I should be able to update often, but it is a work in progress and I might not be able to write as much as I wish. Later chapters will have vague sexual content as well as language and triggering situations. For self harm I will post a message saying this section might be triggering, and where it ends, so proceed with caution. With Love, Kitty_

Vic's POV  
Sadly, I hate myself. The guys don't know how bad it gets sometimes, but I don't want them to worry. Mikey is the worst, but seeing as he's my younger brother, I guess it's to be expected. He's always telling me to look in the mirror and say what I see, so here I go.  
I see a short, but lanky seventeen year old boy. My hair is curly, shoulder length and brown, almost the color of my eyes. And I'm frowning. It seems like I'm permanently sad.  
"Hey Vic! Whatcha up to? School starts in twenty minutes and were gonna be late!" Mike swung his head into my bathroom where I was staring at the sink. "Vic? Are you ok?" He asked worriedly. "Yeah just tired. I stayed up too late ignoring my History homework." My fake smile and joke didn't seem to reassure my brother as he leaves my room, with me following behind.  
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Kellins POV  
I hate my life. My family is as broken as I am, and its probably my fault. My stepfather always tells me its all my fault that my mom is sad. He's right. I have self harm scars and bruises all along my sickly pale arms that are as disgusting as I feel. My hair is wavy, black and almost to my shoulders. My eyes are usually light green, but are currently a very dark green streaked with tears. Circling around my left eye is a huge purple bruise. A gift from my stepdad. I dont have makeup to cover it up, but I do have sunglasses. Maybe they won't notice at school...  
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Vic's POV  
"Sir? Sir! Umm...Kellin? I'm going to need you to take off those glasses." The dark haired boy who sits next to me looked down and quickly slid off the sunglasses. Everyone else's attention returned to the teacher, who was ranting about the historical inaccuracies of Pearl Harbor, but I was still staring at the boy. He seemed really upset and he had a wicked black eye. I debated for the final twenty minutes of class if I should try to talk to him or not. My concern got the best of me. When the bell for the end of school rang, I stayed after to try to talk to him.  
"Hey Kellin? That's your name right? I'm Vic." I asked as I attempted to put my hand on his arm. When my hand reached for him though, he moved away as if he was afraid of me.  
"Hey hey, I'm not going to hurt you. Are you okay?"  
Kellin mumbled something, and then rushed past me to the hall.  
"Wait! I just wanted to talk!" I race out of the classroom to follow him. I caught up with him in moments.  
"Why won't you leave?" Kellin quietly asked, his eyes still cast downwards.  
I slowed down and stammered, "Oh. I'm sorr-i was just-your eye."  
Kellin looked at me from the corner of his eyes and opened his mouth as if to speak, and then ran off in the opposite direction.  
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Kellins POV  
"Sir? Sir! Umm...Kellin? I'm going to need you to take off those glasses." I should have known Mrs. Bolein wouldn't let me just sit and mind my business. Maybe if I just look down the whole period till the final bell rang, I'd be okay. I ripped the glasses off and let my hair fall around my face. Next to me was a Mexican dude wearing a rainbow hoodie who had a serious staring problem. I felt the blush creeping up my face as I stared straight down at my paper and started doodling. It seemed like years had past before the final bell rang, though it couldn't have been more than twenty minutes. I slowly gathered up my bag and papers to try to separate me from the stampede at the door. I looked up to find the guy who was staring at me walking up to my desk.  
"Hey Kellin? That's your name right? I'm Vic." His arm extended towards mine, and I jerked away.  
"Hey hey, I'm not going to hurt you. Are you okay?"  
"Yes, please let me go." I said inaudibly as I slid past the concerned teen to the hallway.  
"Wait! I just wanted to talk!"  
Suddenly, Vic was back walking beside me.  
"Why won't you leave?" I asked him with my eyes trained on the dirty school floor.  
"Oh. I'm sorr-i was just-your eye." Vic stuttered this. He almost looked sincerely concerned. I snuck a look at him and opened my mouth to explain. My mind blanked out and I froze before turning around and half running away, mentally cursing myself with each step I took.

 _Hey Kitty here. Ch. 2 is up and read for your eyes to feast on. Party on Wayne!_


	2. Beaches and CDs

Vic's POV

I stood there a minute, staring at where Kellin stood before he ran off. My thoughts were interrupted when Mikey, followed by Tony and Jaime, caught sight of me in the hallway.

"Hey, we've been looking all over for you! You're my ride home." Tony complained as the group approached me.

"Yeah dude, what are you doing down the English hallway anyways? We parked by History." Jaime asked as we all turned towards the door.

"I was talking to a friend." I answered with a shrug. The cold air outside hit me like a car, and I inwardly reminded myself to bring a jacket tomorrow.

"You have friends other than us? Impossible!" Mikey teased playfully as we approached my car.

" _I_ think he was talking to a giiirl." Jaime sung as I closed my door and started up the engine. They must have noticed the upset frown on my face as we pulled out of the student lot.

"You okay bro? We were just teasing, we didn't mean anything by it. Right guys?" Mikey said apologetically. The other two agreed immediately, flooding the vehicle with apologies.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tony asked after a couple of minutes of silence.

"Not really." I sighed shortly. "Want to go to the beach?"

Everyone voiced their consensus, so I turned onto the road that would lead us to the water.

"Hey, do any of you guys know anything about that Kellin kid that just moved here?" I found myself asking unsurely.

"Is that the kid with the black hair and flannel shirts?" Mikey asked.

"Yeah. He's in my US History class, and he had a huge black eye today." I answered back carefully. I didn't want to tell Kellin's secret, since he was obviously embarrassed and tried to hide it, but I know the guys wouldn't tell anyone else.

"Is that why you were in the English hallway?" Tony inquired.

"Yeah. I tried to catch up with him after class, but he just blew me off. He looked very uncomfortable too." I mentioned as I pulled up to the sand that led to the rocks before the water.

"I don't think he really has any friends. I always see him eating alone at lunch." Jaime inputted. "Maybe we should invite him over to eat with us tomorrow."

We all got out of the car and started walking over to the rocks. A couple years back, we found a cave that was perfect for us to hang in when it's cold. A bonus was that it was hard to find, so there was no one to bother us.

"I just hope he's okay." I said quietly.

Kellin's POV

My encounter with Vic had made me miss the bus, so I started the fifteen minute walk home. I plugged in my headphones and put on Iris by the GooGoo Dolls. When I reached my driveway, I noticed my stepfather's car haphazardly parked in the grass. He's probably drunk...again. To avoid a possibly unpleasant encounter, I snuck around to the back door and silently unlocked it. I crept up the stairs carefully, but I had forgotten about the step that made a loud creaking noise when pressure was applied. Suddenly, I heard his loud voice fill the small house.

"KELLIN YOU BETTER NOT BE JUST COMING IN NOW!" I heard his footsteps coming towards me as I rushed to my room and jumped on my bed. I was just opening up my laptop when he came barging in my room.

"What was that noise?" He asked with a slurred voice. I could smell the cheap beer and smoke from the doorway.

"Oh, I dropped m-my shoe on the ground. I-I'm sorry." I stuttered while looking intently at my bedroom floor.

"Stop whispering. Makes you look like a girl. And clean this shit up!" My stepfather said as he kicked my small piles of cd's over and stepped on one. He laughed when he saw my eyes widen, and then shut the door and left. I could still hear his bellowing cackle as he moved back to the living room.

I lept off my bed and down to my cd's. The one that was stepped on had no chance in being saved, but other other one's injuries were minor. I gathered up all the music and set it in my bookcase.

********************CONTENT MAY BE TRIGGERING-SKIP IF NEEDED***********************

My eyes started to fill up with tears as overwhelming thoughts flooded over me. I needed release from my thoughts, from my stepfather, from the world. I opened up my bedside table and felt around till my hand grasped the familiar blade. I placed it against my skin and closed my eyes. I instantly felt better as I opened my eyes and watched the blood flow from multiple wounds. After a few minutes, the blood still hadn't stopped. I went into the bathroom connected to my room and started cleaning it with water, but it was obviously very deep. I wrapped my arm in a towel and put pressure on my arm. Fifteen minutes later, the blood had started to slow, so I put seven bandaids on it.

***************************TRIGGERING CONTENT IS OVER************************************

After my arm was clean and bandaged, I sat on my bed with my head leaning on the wall. And once again, I wished I could just lay down and go to sleep forever.

 _Hey everyone! Thank you for reading this far. Chapter three is up and posted.-Kitty_


	3. Notes

Vic's POV

So the guys and I decided to definitely invite Kellin over to eat with us at lunch hour, but none of us had seen him. Actually, I hadn't seen him all day. And it was really starting to worry me. I mean, our paths don't really cross until lunch, and the only actual class I've got him in is seventh period. Hopefully he's there, and hasn't gotten himself into some trouble. I turned my attention back on Tony and Jaime's heated debate.

"No way that just a small group of rebel fighters were able to take down a battle station that had the capability to easily destroying an _entire_ planet. It's just impossible!"

"Tony, you do know that Star Wars isn't real, right? So far, the whole thing is impossible." Jaime said this very gently, as you would a child. "And maybe the stormtroopers were drunk and lowered the defense system. That would explain their shotty aim. _Besides_ the _real_ question we should be asking is how just a single missile could destroy that huge thing! Its 160-900 kilometers in diameter!"

I decided that this was when I needed to tune out of the conversation. Instead, my mind drifted off to Kellin again. I was so in depth in thought that I almost missed the concern on my brother's face as he looked at me. Almost...

Kellin's POV

My day was going horrible so far. Luckily, it was still very cold outside, so no one questioned my long sleeved shirt. My arm was still slightly bleeding, but it had slowed considerably. This morning, my stepfather was passed out drunk on the couch, with a beer bottle in his hand and cigarettes littering the floor. This was great, seeing as I could avoid any tauntings he could offer. Sadly, this doesn't mean I was safe from the usual bullying I face in second period. Usually, I can ignore it to a degree, but since last night's event left me compromised. It got so bad that I skipped lunch and instead went out to the field. For the full hour, I just sat in the grass and daydreamed. My anxiety got the best of me though, so I replayed the conversation with Vic. I was so rude to him, and all he was doing was making sure I was okay. I guess I was just worried that he was going to fake concern in order to find a weakness that he could exploit. Although, he doesn't seem the type. He actually looked nice. I think I'm going to try to apologize for yesterday in seventh. If I don't chicken out.

Vic's POV

Kellin just walked into class, and he looks like he hasn't slept in a couple of days. His bruise is now turning yellow in some places, but still bluish in others. As he took his seat just as class was starting, he gave me a slight smile. It was so faint that I wonder if I had imagined it. To distract myself, I started actually paying attention and taking notes. I didn't get very far when a note was slipped onto my desk from the right. I looked over at Kellin, but he was looking at his paper. I opened the note, and written in very neat, precise handwriting said " _Hey, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I was just really anxious and weirded out at someone being nice to me-Kellin."_

I tried to contain my smile before hastily scribbling my response.

Kellin's POV

I couldn't get up the courage to actually talk to Vic before class, so I settled for a small smile and writing it in a note. I slipped it on his desk and watched him through my peripheral vision. He smiled and passed it back. I secretly opened it and read the sloppy scribble. " _It's okay. I figured you were nervous, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Do you need to talk about anything?-Vic."_ I decided that I could probably trust him. I took a second to think about an appropriate response before sliding the note back.

Vic's POV

I glanced up at the teacher, who either didn't see us or was just ignoring us, and grabbed the note on the edge of my desk. " _Are you sure you want to hear it? I just don't want to put it in a note. Meet at the beach after school?-K."_ I checked my phone and saw that we had five minutes left of class, so I quickly gave the note back.

Kellin's POV

" _I just need to drop off my friends first. I can give you a ride if you want?-V"_ By this time, the bell had rung, so I turned to Vic.

"Are you sure your friends want me there?" I said unsure.

"Of course! We actually were looking for you at lunch to invite you to sit with us." Vic said as we walked out of the class and down the hall towards the car lot.

"Sorry about that. I was out on the field." I said as my eyes cast downwards. I didn't want to look lame, but lying seemed pointless. Plus, the deeper I looked into his eyes, the more I trusted him.

"Do you want to sit with us on Monday?" Vic asked as we walked closer to the car. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to I'd-I mean we'd understand if you didn't want to." He added hastily.

"I would love to," I said with the brightest smile I could muster. I could see his friends crowded around what must be his car, and all the ease I had when talking to Vic evaporated. They were all facing us and looked shocked.

"Hey guys," Vic said cheerfully to break the awkward silence. "This is Kellin."

"Oh so this is the famous Kellin you were going on and on about yesterday! I'm Jaime." Jaime teased. My cheeks started to flush red, and Vic looked more than slightly uncomfortable.

"SOOOOOOOOO I'm going to drop you guys off at my house, and then we're going to go beach." Vic said as we all got in the car.

"Hey! Why does Kellin get the front seat? I'm your brother!" Mikey whined as he, Jaime, and Tony squashed into the back seat. "Oh, I'm Mikey by the way. And this is Tony." Motioning to the boy sitting next to him.

"Because." Vic said with a tone that said that said that the conversation needed to be dropped. Minutes later, Vic pulled aside a rather large house, and Jaime, Tony, and Mikey got out and ran towards the door.

"Sorry about them. They can be a little...rude." Vic said as he glanced at me, embarrassment in his eyes.

"It's okay. They were fun, at least." I said encouragingly. "To the beach?"

He smiled so wide that I thought it was going to break his face. "To the beach."

Vic's POV

Kellin came up to me after the bell had rung for the end of school.

"Are you sure your friends want me there?" Kellin looked really uncomfortable as he said this, like he was half-expecting me to snap and say it was a prank everyone played on him.

"Of course! We actually were looking for you at lunch to invite you to sit with us." I wanted to make sure he knew that I wasn't going to hurt him. We turned out of the classroom and headed towards the parking lot, where I told everyone to meet up at.

"Sorry about that. I was out on the field." I looked over to him, but he was staring at the ground again. I really wish he'd look up more often. He had beautiful blue eyes.

"Do you want to sit with us Monday?" I offered, still trying to get him to look up. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to I'd-I mean we'd understand if you didn't want to." I added after he didn't answer for a minute. My anxiety gets really bad with things like this, and I really hate it.

"I would love to,"Kellin said, looking up at me with a smile and shining eyes. Oh no. Surrounding my car were all the guys. And naturally, they were staring at us in awe.

"Hey guys," I said with fake confidence. "This is Kellin."

"Oh so this is the famous Kellin you were going on and on about yesterday! I'm Jaime." I'm going to kill him. I threw him the most intimidating glare I had. When I glanced at Kellin, his cheeks were crimson.

"SOOOOOOOOO I'm going to drop you guys off at my house, and then we're going to go beach." I told everyone as we started piling into my too-small car.

"Hey! Why does Kellin get the front seat? I'm your brother!" Mikey asked in a childish voice. He, Jaime, and Tony were basically sitting on each other's lap in the back seat. "Oh, I'm Mikey by the way. And this is Tony." I could hear directed at Kellin. I mentally threatened them all if they didn't stop as I started driving.

"Because." I answered shortly. I just wanted them all to stop making this so awkward for us. It only took a few minutes until I stopped at my house. As Kellin looked at the house, Mikey glanced at me in the rear view mirror with a raised eyebrow. I ignored it until they all got up and raced towards the door and food.

"Sorry about them. They can be a little...rude." I apologized. I knew I sounded incredibly anxious, but I couldn't help it.

"It's okay. They were fun, at least." Kellin said in an upbeat voice. "To the beach?"

I smiled so hard it hurt my cheeks. "To the beach."

 _Ch. 4 is up and Ch. 5 is in progress! -Kitty_


	4. Rocky Shores

Vic's POV

"It's just over here Kels," I said as I climbed over the large rocks. I really hoped the guys didn't mind me showing him the hideout.

"Kels?" Kellin asked with a hint of a smile as he tried to maneuver the difficult terrain.

"Oh I'm sorry! I didn't even-" Oh man. Cue the blush.

"It's fine. Has a nice ring to it. Is this the cave?" He asked as he ducked out into the hollow in the rock. At least it helped shelter us from the wind that picked up. The downside was that it had grown darker outside, which means that it was near impossible to see once inside the hideout.

"Hold up, I know there's a flashlight somewhere aroun-got it!" I said as I felt around the cave walls for the makeshift shelf that held several flashlights and some snacks. I flicked on the light and shined it in Kellin's direction.

************************************************MAY BE TRIGGERING-USE CAUTION**********************************************************

"Kellin, did you cut yourself on the rocks?" The flashlight showed a dark red liquid flowing down his sleeve.

"It's nothing." He shrugged. "Really."  
"Kels that's not nothing, let me see it." I demanded. He held out his arm and I pulled up the sleeve. I tried to keep my face looking calm, but some of my shock must have shown through. His arm was so bloody that I had a very difficult time telling what was skin and what wasn't. Kellin started crying and apologizing profusely. It felt like my heart was being torn in half with each word.

"It's okay. We have to clean it though, I have to see the wound. Try to put some pressure on it." I took the flashlight over to the other side of the cave where we had stored some vodka last summer.

"Why don't you talk to me while I do this? It doesn't have to be anything important." I opened up the bottle and started to pour it over his arm. He instantly winced and looked like he was in a lot of pain.

"I didn't mean to, I was upset, my stepfather is awful, I'm awful and worthless.." he said through thick tears.

************************************************************END OF TRIGGERING SCENE*******************************************************

"I don't think you're worthless or awful." I said quietly as I ripped a strip of my start and started applying more pressure to his arm. "Kellin," I said as I tried to grasp the words delicately. "Kels, this wasn't the rocks was it."

He was so upset that he couldn't quite speak, so he just shook his head. "The bleeding isn't stopping, we've got to go to the hospital. When did you do this?"

"Last night. And I can't go, I can't. They'll tell him and it'll get worse. Please." I looked him deep in the eyes as he whispered "Please" again.

"At least let me drive you to my house. The bleeding stopped, but your arm is really red and swollen."

Kellin debated this a minute before I added, "My mom won't be home till midnight. You can stay over and escape your stepdad for a night."

"Okay… But I don't want anyone else to know about my arm."

"I won't tell, Kels. I swear."

****************************************************************************************************************************************************.

Kellin's POV

"It's just over here Kels," Vic called out as he disappeared over the large, sharp rocks. I didn't want to seem weak, but it was really really hard to climb in Vans. The skinny jeans didn't help much either.

"Kels?" I asked as I tried to stifle a grin. This was the first time that anyone had given me a nickname that wasn't mean, and I actually thought it was really cute.

"Oh I'm sorry! I didn't even-" Was Vic blushing? Was that name...a pet name?

"It's fine. Has a nice ring to it. Is this the cave?" I asked as I tried to make out the cave's opening. It has gotten quite dark outside and the cave blended into the rocks.

"Hold up, I know there's a flashlight somewhere aroun-got it!" Vic said as he disappeared deeper into the cave. He emerged with the light and turned it on.

*****************************************************MAY BE TRIGGERING-USE CAUTION**************************************************

"Kellin, did you cut yourself on the rocks?" Vic asked worriedly as he stared at my arm.

"It's nothing." I shrugged as I looked down. "Really." There was no need for him to get him worked up and worried.  
"Kels that's not nothing, let me see it." Vic sounded upset, so I gave him my pain ridden arm. He carefully peeled up my sleeve, and his face betrayed him for just a moment. My arm looked awful and there was blood all over Vic and his shirt. I broke down crying, trying to say sorry and that I didn't want him to see it. My head turned fuzzy and it become harder to see as the pain in my arm increased.

"It's okay. We have to clean it though, I have to see the wound. Try to put some pressure on it." Vic disappeared again, and I tried to concentrate on my arm.

"Why don't you talk to me while I do this? It doesn't have to be anything important." I heard the _pop_ of the bottle open, and then suddenly there was blinding pain for a minute.

"I didn't mean to, I was upset, my stepfather is awful, I'm awful and worthless.." I tried to say as I was crying.

*****************************END OF TRIGGERING SCENE-STILL USE CAUTION IF NECESSARY************************************

"I don't think you're worthless or awful." Vic whispered. "Kellin," He paused for a second, and his thumb moved back in forth on my arm. It was comforting. "Kels, this wasn't the rocks was it."

It wasn't a question, and I couldn't seem to stop crying.

"The bleeding isn't stopping, we've got to go to the hospital. When did you do this?"

"Last night. And I can't go, I can't. They'll tell him and it'll get worse. Please." He gazed into my eyes and I asked "Please" again.

"At least let me drive you to my house. The bleeding stopped, but your arm is really red and swollen."

I weighed the options on the possibility of my family noticing before he added, "My mom won't be home till midnight. You can stay over and escape your stepdad for a night."

"Okay… But I don't want anyone else to know about my arm."

"I won't tell, Kels. I swear."


	5. Pillowtalk

Vic's POV  
It only took a few minutes before we got home due to my illegal driving skills. I opened the door and crept in. I could hear the guys in Mikey's room, so I motioned for Kellin to follow me inside and up the stairs leading to the bedrooms. I slowly opened the door to the bathroom where the medical supplies are kept and started rummaging around for the gauze while Kellin kept watch. Suddenly, I felt Kellin's' hand smack my arm and I glanced out the open door to the bathroom where Tony stood staring. I silently held my index finger to my lip and tilted my head towards Kellin and his arm. Tony gave one quick nod before returning to my brother's room.

"Nah, it wasn't him. Musta been the house just creeking." Tony said loud enough for us to hear.

My hand finally found the familiar material, and we dashed to my room.

"Oh." Kellin said with a look of shock and awe on his face.

"What? Is something wrong?" I asked anxiously. We both sat down on my bed, and he gave me his arm to clean and bandage. As I was fixing his arm, Kellin kept staring around my room.

"It's just-Your room is over two-times as big as mine…" he said quietly.

"Oh...um…" I didn't know what to say, so I just looked at him. He was still eagerly taking in every piece of my room as stared at him, until he noticed me. Our eyes locked for just a moment before I looked back down to his arm. His eyes were such a deep green, lit up with excitement. It was like seeing a new side of him. And maybe me as well.

Kellin's POV

I'm not exactly how long the drive to Vic's house was, but it seemed to go by very fast. He helped me out of the door and told me to wait by the door to see if the guys were still home. When I looked back at Vic, he moved his hand forward to tell me to follow. We went upstairs to the bathroom where Vic told me to watch out for anyone, and Tony appeared in the doorway shortly. I hit Vic's arm to tell him, and he motioned for Tony to keep quiet. Tony looked at me, my arm, and then nodded his head.

"Nah, it wasn't him. Musta been the house just creeking." I heard Tony call from Mikey's room. Suddenly, Vic's hand grasped mine and took me to what must be his room.

"Oh." was all I could manage when we reached where he lived.

"What? Is something wrong?" he said very worriedly. He helped me over to his bed, where he started to put some weird stuff on my arm, but all I could look at was his huge room. It seemed to go on forever, filled with CD's and stereos.

"It's just-Your room is over two-times as big as mine…" I whispered. There was just so much to look at, you couldn't run out of anything.

"Oh...um…" I noticed then the Vic had stopped banaging me up, so I glanced at him. I couldn't stop looking at his eyes, and finally he looked back at my arm. I still couldn't stop looking at him. I felt like I would never be able to stop.

Vic's POV

It was really late by then, so now came the awkward talk of sleeping arrangement.

"It's fine, I can just sleep on the floor." Kellin said as he grabbed a blanket and laid it on the floor.

"Yeah no. You're not." I argued. I snached the blanket and put it back on the bed. "I mean, we can just-" I trailed off, my mind making up every possible scenario.

"You sure?" Kellin asked.

"Yeah, it's not like it's...like _that_ , right?"

"Of course not."

So I walked over, turned out the lights and then hopped in bed.

"Oh...I forgot...do you mind..I usually sleep without a shirt on...it's just it gets really hot up here…" I couldn't quite find the words to explain, but he just nodded his head.

"It won't be awkward unless we make it, right?"

So I stripped off my shirt and laid back down. It was a medium sized bed, but I found a part of me that wanted it to be smaller.

"Hey Kels?"

"Yeah Vic?"  
"Why did you hurt your arm?"

"My mom married this guy, and he was okay at first. Then slowly, he started drinking more and more. Then my mom became depressed, and he told me that it was because of me. And then whenever he got angry...he'd take it out on me."  
"Oh Kellin. I'm so sorry." I could hear him tearing up, so I put my arms around him with his head on my chest, and just told him it was alright. I guess we fell asleep like that, because the next morning, the guys all came into my room to wake me up. And they found Kellin and I curled up together, dead asleep.

"So…" Mikey started.

I woke up first, and nudged Kellin awake.

"Please tell me that you both are wearing pants…" Jaime said as him and the guys started inching out of the room.

All the guys then left and went down stairs, probably to go gossip about what they just witnessed. Meanwhile, I had fully woken up and started stroking Kellin's bedhead hair. He nuzzled closer and looked like he was intent on going back to sleep, his face buried in my chest. He looked so adorable like that that I found myself kissing his cheek.

Kellin's POV

I didn't know what time it was exactly, but I knew that Vic's mom was supposed to come home soon. I figured that since I was the guest and had caused so much trouble, that I was going to sleep on the floor. Apparently that was not ok.

"It's fine, I can just sleep on the floor." I said as I took a pillow and blanket off the bed and started making a make-shift bed on the ground that was softer than my bed.

"Yeah no. You're not." Vic said as he stopped me from fixing my bed. "I mean, we can just-"

"You sure?" I saw where this was going and my heart skipped a beat..

"Yeah, it's not like it's...like _that_ , right?"

"Of course not."

He turned out the lights and started to get in bed when he spoke again.

"Oh...I forgot...do you mind..I usually sleep without a shirt on...it's just it gets really hot up here…" I nodded my head.

"It won't be awkward unless we make it, right?"

In the faint moonlight, I got a glimpse of him that I wouldn't mind seeing in full light as he took off his shirt. He laid close to me, and I wasn't sure if it was my imagination or not, but he seemed to be radiating heat.

"Hey Kels?"

"Yeah Vic?"  
"Why did you hurt your arm?"

"My mom married this guy, and he was okay at first. Then slowly, he started drinking more and more. Then my mom became depressed, and he told me that it was because of me. And then whenever he got angry...he'd take it out on me."  
"Oh Kellin. I'm so sorry." I felt old memories and physical pain manifest in me, and I felt Vic's arms pull me onto him as he comforted me. I was so comfortable that I instantly fell asleep and didn't wake up till Vic woke me up. I looked over to see three figures in the doorway to Vic's room.

"So…" Mikey started.

"Please tell me that you both are wearing pants…" I heard Jaime comment as the guys slowly left the room. I could hear them rushing downstairs as Vic's hands started running through my knotted hair. I moved a little closer to him to hide my face, and then felt him kiss my cheek.


	6. The Great And Powerful Red Flannel

Vic's POV

Eventually, we got up but it couldn't have been earlier than two in the afternoon when we finally emerged from my room.

"Hey you can grab a clean shirt from my closet if you want. I've got a couple that would fit you. I'm going to go hop in the shower."

A couple minutes later, Kellin popped his head in the bathroom.

"Hey I'm not looking, but I see you've got a red plaid flannel and I would like to inform you that you will not be getting it back."

Ok that was so fucking cute and adorable.

"It's fine." I said with a chuckle. I turned off the water and added, "Hey, can you grab me that towel…?" Oh god I can't believe I just asked that. Is that gay? Fuck how will he take it?

"Oh yeah of course." He threw the towel over the top of the shower, and I started drying off. I then tied the towel around my waist, and stepped out. I figured that Kellin had left but there he was, sitting on the counter on his phone. He looked up to find me in the towel.

"Oh-uh-I should-I was going to shower next if it's okay." He said it like I was going to yell at him for asking for water privages. Damn where does he live?

"No, it's cool you're fine." Yeah you really kinda are fine…

"Oh ok…"

We both just kinda stood there looking at each awkwardly.

"Hey, you've seen me without a shirt, it's only fair if I get the same view." I blurted out, instantly regretting I'd even thought of it. "But only if you're okay with it of course, I was sorta joking…"

"Oh… I've got...um...scars kind of everywhere...they aren't all self harm but.." His words trailed off and he started staring down at the ground. Then he started to strip down. And damn.

Then I saw the scars. They varied in size, with some being short and straight (obviously self harm) and others looked very long and jagged. I couldn't stop myself from touching the long one and looking up at him questioningly.

"Broken beer bottle." He said quietly with pursed lips.

All I could manage was a lame "oh". I mean what do you say to that? I actually wanted to hurt that man as much as he hurt Kellin.

And then I noticed that he had stripped down more then I noticed originally. He was just in a pair of boxers, turning on the shower like it was no big deal.

And then we were kissing. Like really kissing. The kind where all you can think about is them, surrounding you in a cloud of fog.

Kellin's POV

We sat there cuddled up together till we noticed that it was late afternoon.

"Hey you can grab a clean shirt from my closet if you want. I've got a couple that would fit you. I'm going to go hop in the shower."

I searched through his closet and found an amazing red flannel. I put it in a pile to change into if I showered.

I walked over to the bathroom, closed my eyes, and opened the door.

"Hey I'm not looking, but I see you've got a red plaid flannel and I would like to inform you that you will not be getting it back."

"It's fine." He said as he turned the shower off. "Hey, can you grab me that towel…?"

"Oh yeah of course." Did he-did he just ask me to give him a towel? How do I play this? Like just bros? So I tossed the towel into the shower and hopped onto the counter, texting my mom that I was safe and was over at a friend's. Vic got out of the shower with a towel tied around him, so when I looked up, to say I was stunned is a big of an understatement.

"Oh-uh-I should-I was going to shower next if it's okay." I asked sheepishly, not wanting to be an inconvenience.

"No, it's cool you're fine." He said with an odd tone in his voice.

"Oh ok…"

Oh god, I don't know the social protocol for this fuck fuck fuck.

"Hey, you've seen me without a shirt, it's only fair if I get the same view." Vic said suddenly breaking the silence. "But only if you're okay with it of course, I was sorta joking…"

"Oh… I've got...um...scars kind of everywhere...they aren't all self harm but.." I felt like a warning was necessary, because I really don't take off my shirt in front of people. So I slowly started to take off my shirt, then pants. He looked really worried as Vic's fingers ran along a scar I swear I could still feel, as if I had gotten it just yesterday.

"Broken beer bottle." It was difficult to get the words out of my mouth.

"Oh."

I was in just my boxers by now, and was trying to turn on the water.

And then we were kissing. And for once, I actually felt whole. Like maybe I wasn't damaged goods.


	7. Bedroom?

***SMUT WARNING EVERYONE! FEAST YOUR EYES!*******

Vic's POV

"Bedroom?" Kellin suggested in a sexy voice in between our now very rushed and in depth kissing.

"Yes yes definitely bedroom."

I felt around for the bathroom doorknob, and opened the door, never breaking the kiss. We stumbled into my room and Kellin laid down on the bed, still in just his boxers. I started kissing him again and was taken back when he bit down on my lip, but that just made me want him more.

"Are you sure Kels?" I broke the kiss to ask. Oh god, please say you are please.

In response, Kellin started kissing and biting my neck. I started grinding down on Kellin, making both of us moan. Instantly, we broke apart to strip off what was left of the clothing that separated us. I reached over to my bedside table and grabbed the tube of lotion from over there, and Kellin knelt on his knees with his hands clasping around the blankets.

I took some lotion and slowly pushed my finger into him, loving the way Kellin squirmed as he moaned. A light veil of sweat had set on both of our bodies, with Kels pale skin turning a shade of pink. I added another finger, scissoring them to stretch him to make it easier. I withdrew my fingers and looked him in his perfect, longing green eyes.

"Are you ready?"

"Y-yes"

I put some more lotion on Kellin and started. I started very slow, not wanting to hurt him, and waited till he was comfortable. When he gave the ok, I started moving faster, both of us gaining a rhythm. We were both breathing hard and occasionally moaning. And he felt sooo good. While still in him, I turned his head so I could kiss him. My hand slid down to his crotch, wanting him to feel as good as I did right now. I'm guessing he did, because as soon as my hand touched the soft skin, Kellin left out a "Oh" similar to a meow.

My tempo started increasing and I could feel that I was very close, and apparently so was Kels.

We both came at around the same time, breathing heavily as we collapsed on the bed.

"I think I love you Kels…" I said as I looked at him, uncertain of what he would say back.

"I love you too Vic."

Kellin's POV

"Bedroom?" I asked in a very breathless voice.

"Yes yes definitely bedroom."

Vic and I continued kissing as he opened up the door leading to his bedroom.

We practically fell into the large space, and I quickly got up on the bed. Vic leaned over and started kissing me passionately again, and in a moment of lust, I bit down on his lip. Hard.

"Are you sure Kels?" Vic said as he leaned away from me. Am I sure?! I don't think I've ever been more sure in my life.

Instead of vocalizing this however, I went in for his neck and started leaving hickies and bite marks. Vic ground his hips on mine, and my eyes rolled back in my head.

We both started to take off what little clothes were left, and then Vic turned back to me with a bottle of lotion and a devilish grin. I got on my knees and gathered the sheets in my hands and mentally prepared myself for what was to happen.

Without warning, I felt Vic's cold finger probe me. I moved a bit, wanting more. Vic must have understood, because one more finger gently entered me, stretching me. I could feel my face burn as I kept my eyes closed, immersed in the pleasure Vic was giving me.

Suddenly, Vics fingers left me, and I turned towards him. He looked eager and I felt the desire again to kiss him till I couldn't move anymore.

"Are you ready?"

"Y-yes"

I felt more of the cold, creamy lotion being applied and then came the pressure. He went slowly, and waited when I said I needed a moment. When I adjusted, we started again, faster and more in sync. Our breathing was definitely audible, and sometimes a moan or two escaped one of our lips. Vic's hand turned my head to the side, and we kissed deeply again. I felt his hand move down my body to my groin. It felt so amazing that I couldn't help but gasp.

Upon hearing that, I felt Vic speed up and I knew by the fire in my crotch that I was close. I felt Vic come when I did, and we both feel back on the bed.

"I think I love you Kels…"

"I love you too Vic."


	8. Pizza-Loving Turtles

Vic's POV

We both showered again and got dressed, then we stumbled downstairs. We were happily chatting about music when my mom passed through the room.

"I ship it." She said as she walked through the kitchen and into the living.

Kellin looked at me horrified and then we started laughing uncontrollably as our friends walking in.

"What's so funny?" Tony asked curiously.

"N-nothing!" Kellin said as we started calming down.

"Okay well anyone up for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles marathon?" We all agreed to Tony's question and almost silently Kellin asked, "Can I stay and watch them? I don't think I've seen any…"

Kellin looked up from his food to find the four guys staring at him in shock and awe.

"What?" He questioned.

"How are you alive?!"  
"What are you?!"

"That means yes, you're going to have to stay or else they're going to kidnap you." I explained to Kellin's confused face.

So we all gathered in the living room with twenty blankets and pillows, as well as all the junk food you could imagine, to marathon.

Kellin and I cuddled while Tony and Mikey quizzed Kellin on what was going on to make sure he was paying enough attention.

Around midnight, everyone, excluding myself, was passed out while the Secret Of The Ooze played on repeat in the background. I have a very hard time falling asleep, and tonight was no different. Tony and Jaime looked almost like they were...holding hands? I chucked to myself, knowing that's why Tony didn't tell anyone about me bandaging up Kels. Speaking of Kellin, he was softly snoring and honestly, it was the cutest thing I've ever heard.

"Nnnnn."

I looked down to see a troubled expression on his face.

"Kels? Are you okay?" I said, barely audibly as to not wake the others.

"Nnnoooo. Nnnooo." He repeated several times as he started to hit my chest.

"Kellin? Sweetie wake up." I started shaking him gently and he awoke with wide eyes. "You were dreaming." I explained.

"It was awful my stepdad showed up and started hitting me and tried to choke you and-" he whispered hurriedly in a frighten voice.

"Shh it's ok Kels it was a dream. Just a dream." I whispered in a soothing tone, while running my hands through his hair. Eventually, he fell back into a deep sleep with a peaceful look on his face as he laid on my chest. His breathing and heartbeat gently lured me to sleep.

Kellin's POV

Vic and I wandered downstairs, hair still damp from our second shower of the day. I brought up questions of his favorite bands as we both grabbed some food.

Without any sort of introduction, I saw an older lady (obviously Vic and Mike's mom), pass through the room.

"I ship it." She said as she glanced over at us, continuing through the house. I looked at Vic, scared and afraid, and then we both burst out giggling and laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" Tony asked as him and the rest of the crew walking into the kitchen, searching for food.

"N-nothing!" I stuttered.

"Okay well anyone up for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles marathon?" Tony asked excitedly.

"Can I stay and watch them? I don't think I've seen any…" My soft voice trailed off as I noticed that everyone was staring at me.

"What?" I inquired.

"How are you alive?!"  
"What are you?!"

"That means yes, you're going to have to stay or else they're going to kidnap you."Vic told me in a hushed tone.

We all grabbed a lot of blankets and food and headed over to the living room.

I moved close to Vic and answered the questions that Mike and Tony asked me until they were satisfied that I was watching the movie.

I can't remember when I passed out, but I knew that I was watching pizza-loving turtles and the next moment, I was being kicked by my stepfather. When he decided he had hurt my ribs enough that I couldn't move, he turned his attention to guy trying to help me. He grabbed Vic by the neck and I saw Vic lose consciousness.

I tried to scream "No" but it's like my voice was suddenly gone, stole away by my aching lungs.

I was finally able to stagger over to where Vic was being strangled and started hit my stepfather in the chest.

"Kellin? Sweetie wake up." I heard Vic quietly speaking. But he didn't sound wispy, like he should have. Then I felt warm hands on my arm, moving them until I jerked open my eyes.

"You were dreaming.".

"It was awful my stepdad showed up and started hitting me and tried to choke you and-" I felt like I couldn't get all the words out from the terrifying experience.

"Shh it's ok Kels it was a dream. Just a dream." He said in the most calming voice and he started touching my hair continuously. I felt myself drifting off again, sure that Vic was going to protect me from everything.


	9. Stainglass Eyes and Colorful Tears

Vic's POV

It's been a few months since Kellin and I got together, and we were pretty open about it. There were some problems with a group of homophobes from school, but we ignored it and they started to ignore us. Kels was added to our group very easily, and he became comfortable around us. We all stayed over at someone's house for the whole weekend, but never Kellin's. When the guys asked him about it, he got very uneasy and said that it wasn't somewhere they'd want to go. The guys quickly dropped the subject and didn't mention it again. Tony and Jaime came out as a couple when we did, and Mikey had a sort-of girlfriend. Everything seemed cool, but Life likes to do that to you. It likes to wait till you're comfortable and happy, then something shakes it up. And this one impacted the whole group.

Kellin's POV

Vic and I became a couple that night, and we've been happy ever since. Thankfully, Vic was okay with us being obviously together at school and in public. I melted into the group as the fifth friend, which means that ignoring bullies was easier, seeing I actually had friends to ignore them with. My anxiety vanished around them, and I ended up spending afternoons after school and weekends at one of their houses. They asked about staying at my house once, but I couldn't risk my stepfather getting to them. We were all still close though everyone in the group were pretty much paired off- Jaime and Tony were dating and Mike had this girl that we're not quite sure what's going on exactly. Everything seemed perfect. Even my stepfather's abuse got easier and less frequent for the most part. And then one day, everything changed and I felt that everything that was given to me was going to be swept away from me.

And in a way, it was.

Vic's POV

It was March and we were all at Jaime's house watching Lord of the Rings and joking when Kellin's phone went off. We were all really loud, so he went into the kitchen to answer it.

A minute later, he came to the room and gravely said, "I've got to go. My mom's had a heartattack. She's at the hospital." Jaime's mom heard the noise quiet down and walked in as he said that.

"I'll drive." She said as she grabbed the car keys.

We all cramped together in her car, and no one spoke a word the whole ride. After what seemed like forever, we arrived at the hospital.

The group of us walked in, told the front desk who we were and when we were taken to a room that was too sterile to be comfortable. In the middle of the room was a bed with a very pale woman with a large black eye and bruises that seemed to make up all of her. In the corner of the room sat a woman in a suit with a clipboard.

"Mom?" Kellin asked in a small, childlike voice. His mom's head turned to look at him, her eyes the same color as her son's.

"I'd been putting makeup on them. So you wouldn't see. I was glad that you had friends now and didn't want him to hurt you more."

"Where is he." I'd never heard Kellin mad before, but this seemed to be more than just 'mad'. This was years of bottled up anger. A time bomb. And I was scared of Kellin and what he was capable of.

"He left. They said that the neighbour found me on the yard." She said as she closed her eyes tightly, as if trying to rewrite what had happened.

"Hey Kels? We're going to be outside, okay?"

"No. I want to meet your friends." She said weakly.

So one by one, Kellin introduced us. When he got to me, he said 'my boyfriend', and his mom looked proud. She tried to shake all of our friends, but barely managed it.

"Can I talk to Ms. Preciado alone please?"Her voice sounded wispy and sad as she kissed Kellin on the cheek and we all walked out. Kellin looked rightfully upset and refused to take his eyes off the door to his mother's room.

"Are you okay?" Mikey asked carefully. Either Kellin didn't hear him or he ignored the question. Either way, it was not our place to judge or get upset. They had been in the room for a couple minutes when a nurse came over.

"Which of you is Kellin?"

We all glanced at each other before looking at the boy with raven hair who slowly raised his hand.

"Can I speak to you alone?"

"No. They'll know anyway. Might as well say it in front of the group."  
The nurse nodded, visibly uncomfortable with the job she was given. "Hun, your mom...we're having trouble managing her heart…"

"What do you mean?" Kellin asked, his voice dripping with urgency.

"We're not sure how long she's going to have…I'm sorry."

I glanced at the poor nurse and gave a swift nod, and she walked away.

Kellin seemed to have shut down. His eyes just stared off into space until Ms. Preciado emerged from the room, looking troubled.

"Your mom would like to speak to you Kellin."

Kellin left to go to his mother's side as Ms. Preciado sat down in his spot.

"Since I know you all are going to ask, I'll tell. His mom wanted to know...she wanted to know if I would adopt Kellin. She said she was aware that she was dying and wanted to do a closed adoption so his stepfather wouldn't have custody."

We all gawked at her in silence, waiting for her to continue.

"I said as long as Kellin and Jaime were okay with it."  
"Of course it's okay with me." Jaime said immediately.

Kellin stuck his head out of his mother's room and asked if Ms. Preciado could come in.

After twenty or so minutes, we heard an alarm quickly followed by several nurses. A hysterical Kellin, the woman in the suit, and Ms. Preciado were quickly ushered out by a nurse.

"This is Mrs. Shueto. She's the lawyer who just did the closed adoption papers. Kellin will still be keeping the same last name and everything." She assured us. But we were all too busy looking a Kellin. He was just sitting there with tearful eyes, staring at the floor. I put my arm around me, and he buried his face in my chest as he cried. Sometime later, a nurse stopped by to tell us they couldn't revive her. Eventually, we left. We all got in the car, Kellin still attached to me, and he told us how to get to his house. He unlocked the door to find an empty house. His stepfather had taken everything of value and left.

Kellin's POV

March 16th. Even now the date burns in my mind, making me visibly nauseated. We were just hanging out, watching Lord of the Rings and eating all Jaime's food when my phone with off with a ring tone that only goes off when an unknown number calls.

"Hello?" A voice responded but it was noisy so I left to the kitchen.

"Hello? Is this Kellin Bostwick?"

"Yes this is, who is this?"

"I'm Samantha from 's Hospital. Is your mother Mary Bostwick?"

"Y-yes."

"Your mother had a heart attack-" I hung up the phone and slowly walked into the living room.

"I've got to go. My mom's had a heart attack. She's at the hospital."

Suddenly Jaime's mom showed up and grabbed her car keys and wallet.

"I'll drive."

I remember getting in the car and thinking that this wasn't really happening. I know we talked to the nice lady at the desk and then we were lead to a room where my mother laid covered in bruises and machines. At the time, I didn't noticed the woman in the room, dismissing her as a nurse or a doctor.

"Mom?" I didn't even recognize my voice.

"I'd been putting makeup on them. So you wouldn't see. I was glad that you had friends now and didn't want him to hurt you more." I closed my eyes and felt a deep chur in the pit of my stomach.

"Where is he." I growled. It wasn't a question. I looked over to Vic next to me, and he seemed scared of me. I was scared of me.

"He left. They said that the neighbour found me on the yard."

"Hey Kels? We're going to be outside, okay?" Vic asked as the group started backing out of the room.

"No. I want to meet your friends." Her voice wasn't the usual comforting sound I was used to. It sounded broken, like a bird with no voice.

I started by introducing Jaime and his mother, then Tony, then Mike. I called Vic 'my boyfriend' and my mom looked the happiest I'd seen her in years.

"Can I talk to Ms. Preciado alone please?" She said in the unfamiliar voice as she kissed my cheek.

I reluctantly left the cold room and walked over the the waiting area.

I saw Mike's lips move, but I couldn't really hear anything. I tried to talk, but my tongue felt too bulky and I couldn't form words. So I looked at the floor and tried to think of the best times with my mom, but all I could see was her frail, cold body in the hospital bed. I couldn't feel myself breathing, but I know I must have been breathing.

I saw a shadow in front of me and glanced around. Everyone was looking at me, so I raised the hand that felt the least like lead.

"Can I speak to you alone?" I actually could hear this one, though it was just a faint whisper.

"No. They'll know anyway. Might as well say it in front of the group."

The nurse uneasily accepted this as she formed the words that carved holes in my heart. "Hun, your mom...we're having trouble managing her heart…"

"What do you mean?" She's not saying what I think she's saying right? Maybe I'm just having another nightmare. Vic will wake me up, full of comfort.

"We're not sure how long she's going to have…I'm sorry."

The seriousness of her tone made me realize that this is real. This isn't a dream. This is my heart being carved out of my chest with a spoon.

"Your mom would like to speak to you Kellin."

I didn't know who said it, but it was what I needed to escape. I entered the room and my mom was crying.

"Hey what's wrong? They're going to make you so healthy that you're going to be able to run out of here." My voice was just a mixture of fake sincerity and confidence. My mom's face said that she was definitely aware that I was full of shit.

"Kellin, we both know what's going to happen-" I started to cut her off but she wasn't having it. "SO I want the best for you. And I think that that is best for you if we do an open adoption. That way you can stay here and go to the same school."

"Who would it be with?"

"Ms. Preciado has offered to take custody…and I think it's the best for you hun."  
I said there, thinking. That's why the proper looking woman was there earlier. I felt like I was in a daze as I opened the door to tell Jaime's mom to come in. Everything became a blur of papers, ink pens, and tears. And suddenly I wasn't my mother's child. At least not legally. I finally found my voice and asked, "Do I have to change my name?" Out of all the stupid things, I ask that. "Only if...you...wish it to..." My mom choked out, her breathing becoming more and more irregular.

"Mom?" No answer came.

"Mom?!"  
And then came the noise. It sounded like a shrill animal, coming to take away the one family member I ever cared for. I stood there, staring at my mother as her eyelids became heavy and closed.

When the nurses tried to kick me out, I couldn't think. I couldn't breath or think or live or die. I was just there.

"This is Mrs. Shueto. She's the lawyer who just did the closed adoption papers. Kellin will still be keeping the same last name and everything."

I honestly can't tell you if I imagined everything after this or if it really happened.

Finally I broke. I felt Vic's arm on me, and I hid in his shirt. I was crying and felt like I would never stop. And in a way, I haven't.

Vic partially carried me to the car where we went to my house. It was as broken as I felt, ripped apart and gutted.


End file.
